Live for Others: Microtale- Chapter 3

To read Chapter-1, click here.

To read Chapter-2, click here.

Chapter-3

I started to introduce her to my friend circle. Just two months before, everything just changed. I was very sure,

"Once we found the person we love, then our attraction towards him/her gets over soon. Every person is eager to love more and in a different way. Have heard that nothing is fixed in this dynamic world and in short span of our relationship it did prove true. A couple of weeks back she realized that her first impression for her peer circle was somewhat misleading and there were many good people in her college. That’s what I explained her in first place but that time her though process was running on a different line, she wasn’t ready to believe me. For her my presence was sufficient to fulfil the world she wanted to live and dream in. Me getting busy with my work and studies was not new but she getting busy with her new buddies was the new-normal. I changed my priorities, my point of view for her. Strange, but now I was sharing “our personal time” with her new friends, her time which initially was only mine is now in the public domain. This is very common in every relationship. I knew it. It’s okay, I was a very practical person, so I did understand. But slowly, my nightmares started to come to real life. She stopped picking up my call. She stopped replying to my messages. In simple, with time, I started feeling that she actually started loosing my charm and had stopped loving me. But she used to say that it’s only a phase, and me being silly just use to console myself believing her word to word. I know she was not wrong, if she finds new people attractive, more entertaining, what’s her mistake. She was not doing anything purposely, but it was hurting me very much. I knew she was trying her best to find time for me from her tight schedule, but I realized that she was not trying because she wanted to talk but instead, she was trying because she didn’t wanted to feel guilty. She never said anything straight but her dishearten talks, lack of attention and frequent mood swings did made a rough map of her thought process in front of me. Her conscience was telling her that she was doing wrong with me. Some days ago, she said, “You were busy in the past, now I am busy, so what’s the big deal?” She was correct, I was busy initially but I could not just take her words this straight. My brain tried being practical every moment but somewhere in the corner of my heart I knew that she enjoyed more with her new friends than me. And, no matter what I want, I can’t change it. The day before yesterday, I tried to rectify the situation and started by calling her. I was talking to her the whole night, just like days when we were best friends and after a huge stretch, we did spent quality time. She felt the same love for me and it was more than soothing at that moment.

Every night ends to bring a bright day but the next morning did not appear any nearby to me. The next morning, when she reached her life, her college, she continued her usual behavior. She melted for me only for that particular moment, but soon she figured out what her heart wants. Obviously, everybody likes to hang out with college friends, movie night with girls , night outs etc. I don’t have a problem with her new friends. What was making me furious was her changing feelings. From the very first day I knew that someday this would happen, this is reality and practicality. Its not that we are unaware of this hard truth but yet each heart wants to fall for someone special, risk its own stability just for seeing the other person happy and smiling."

I interrupted,

"Hey Sagar, Is there any new guy in her new friends?"

Sagar, "Does it matter? Jealousy is a temporary feeling; it might give reactions, but not affections. Our love was real and pure. She loves me the same way, crazily and unconditionally. Currently, its not the person is wrong, it's the time. "

I asked the last question, " Why didn’t you shared your hurt feelings with her? May be communicating will helps you to sort out with her? "

Sagar replied, "Because today when I met her, everything seems the same except the bond that we had. Initially we use to understand each other’s silence but today even words cant help to comprehend other person’s perspective. I found a very different individual in her, surely she was not my girl. The everlasting smile on her face was lost in the midst and I could see her eyes in huge burden of her own emotions, like a dynamite ready to explode with a single spark. I know she is already confused about her feelings. It is not an assumption, I knew this already. The last time when we ended up into an useless fight, she did confessed herself. God knows whether it was her anger speaking or her emotions, but the truth is that she doesn’t feel the same way for me anymore. She loved me, but she is feeling guilty as her heart says that it wasn’t love. Her new friends made her happy and did diverted her towards what I always intended to. She seems to be more practical now as compare to the girl I met first. Only the problem is, time has changed me as well. I am happy and contend that she became practical, but simultaneously am sad that I have reached the stage where I’m sobbing and waiting desperately for her time. I had no clue what was haunting me deep inside more, her memories or the happy person I used to be. I didn’t share because she seems to be happy and less guilty because she ended properly though it was not my way of ending. Itni mushkil se to yeh understanding yeh practicality uske andar ayi hai, kaise khud ko weak bana deta uske samne? No, not at all. I will cry for a day or two and will become old Sagar, strict and workaholic type. Nobody fights for their love in the current generation, and here she needs to fight with herself. That’s impossible. Moving On is the correct option here. "